Common Hallucinations (for people travelling for the 1st
time and for people who haven’t learnt during their 1st time )
( What they don’t teach you….)
If I talk like them, they will probably think I am one of them or this
man / girl is pretty good …
It
has taken me a million exasperating moment to be sitting on the call, to listen
to someone faking the accent. As horrendous as it sounds, I have personally
felt, I would walk right to them, put the phone on mute and swing them by the
neck, like it happens in Cartoons between Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck ! ;) .
What
people, probably, are more interested to hear, is the content, than your accent
or that fake style. Accept it, you didn’t even know about THIS accent, until
you arrived here or before you watched the 9 AM – 11 PM HBO Movies !
If you do not understand something, accept it. A man who doesn’t
know something for the 1st time remains a fool once; A man who doesn’t question
remains a fool forever.
This
special someone asks a question on the call, that involved multiple people,
nods his head for every single response, as the IBM person explained the
process.
I
had a strange feeling about this and at the end of the call, I asked him, “So, what
did they say? “ and I got the record response of all times. “I don’t know; they
were speaking way too fast! “.
It is good to be a favorite, but…
I stop right here, to let you
think. You can either rest on someone’s shoulder or stand on your feet. ;)
The empire you are on, right
now, was built out of a great vision and an incredible thought process of a handful
of radiant minds.
Err…..You
ne’er know who your next boss will be! ;)
Complaints, Regrets, Curses, Bad Feelings…
As
it may turn out, there is no ideal curve or happy hours always, between onshore/offshore
folks.
Onsite and offshore relationship is not like
being in love, like Boys compromise for everything in the initial stages and
girls compromise on everything in the later stages , before the break up !
It is like being in good agreement
and relationship. As they say, Never go to bed mad; Stay up and fight!
Homeworks and Classy Works !
How many times have been sitting ( and swearing ) on a
Vodafone, Airtel, ICICI Bank… customer service calls, where you had to wait for
dog minutes to get your response?
Responses like…
“ Can you please wait sir, I am looking through my
documentation ? “
“ Can you please hold, I am checking with my Manager ? “
“ I will be back in a moment sir ? “ …and you don’t hear
for a few minutes, except that annoying music, which you loved when you called
them for the first time ?
viz., Everyday I want to fly, stay by my side….Everyday I
want to dream, stay by my side ;)
Never step into a conference call or meeting , without
doing your homework.
If you don’t do your homework, there is no Classy Work !
Just to turn on your motivation, if you want your Ch***
to be happy on V’day, wouldn’t you try your best to do some chic work?
Hard Workers Vs Smart Workers
Hard
Workers, you may want to realize that if you continue to do the same things,
yet expect different results, you are either crazy or you must be content.
Smart
Workers, you may want to realize that if you do too much of different things
too often, you may want to realize that you are setting unrealistic expectations
for everyone who is doing their best, around you.
Remember, the wheel of fortune is round..
They come once in 6 months,
sometimes as some communications from our Leaders, who have struggled and lived
through the ravages of time; people who made bigger decisions for your decisions
today
When everything is Good, no one
talks about it.
When everything is Bad, everyone
wants to talk about it.
Savings
is not about not spending. It is all about spending wisely.
It
is a very common practice, for folks to do the conversion from USD to INR,
during the first few days.
“
This item costs $5 which means $5 * INR 50 = 250 ( $ or Ru ?! ) “ and you end
up not eating for a few days outside.
Solution ? Convert your income also into INR and you
probably will feel better. J
Never take the advice of your half/empty head friends,
who have bank accounts they do not want, credit cards they don’t want to have, buy
stocks because they like the name, and have kids they don’t know about ;)
Good Days & Bad Days …
A perfect example of a Good Day.
You,
after being stung by that one strange species of spider, turn into spiderman
the next morning.
A perfect example of a Bad Day.
Imagine
being that special species of spider and you accidentally run into a 2 year old,
who is so interested to dissect your 8 legs, with no prior lab experience.
Rest, Relaxation and Sleep…
Take
a break from work and vacation, now and then. This will ease off your work
tensions and heavy load.
You
don’t want to be that person in that rocking chair, with your grandson on your
lap and he asks, “ Grandpa, you were in US for X years, where all did you go ? “
and the only answer you have for him is, “ I ….ahn.. saved a million dollars ! “.
Have a few good bedtime adventure stories to tell.
Didn’t you love them as a kid ?! ;)
Have fair knowledge of laws, practices, events, things around you…
I
remember eavesdropping ( or should I say Adam’s Dropping ?!! ), a conversation
between a south asian ( I don’t want to sound a racist ! ) and a fellow American,
who talked about insurance policies, claims & premiums and at the end of
the conversation comes one great question, “ What is State Farm ? “
I
nearly fell off my chair….
If I act like them, they [the Americans / Europeans / Australians] probably
will think I’m sooper cool dude…
Never
pretend to be someone who you are not.
Grabbing a drink and walking up to someone on the dance floor, doesn’t
make you look cool.
On the inside, you are still a Santhanam, Balakrishna or Johnny
Lever ;)
You
will probably sound more like a telegraphic or a morse code machine, that goes
tut-toot-tut..tut.. hic.. toot…tut..hic…hic… toot..tut…tut…
Learn the Alphas, Betas, Charlies, Deltas, Englands…
Americans
/ Europeans / Australians have great obscurity with our serration of voice
modulation and our ability to speak English in 2 different ways.
We start with American but then end in British !
Be slow, steady and confident while you are in a call. It
is okay, if he is from Greenland or from South Africa , and can say 95 words
per minute!
[Trust me, I am not making this …]
IBM
person: Can you give me the program name?
Developer:
It is D….….M…..E...S..S..VBA
IBM
person: I beg your pardon?
Developer: D as in Dog, M as in Monkey, E as in Elephant…
Save some embarrassing moments…
Remember that some letters sound so ‘ alike ’ on the call.
*** I call them “ Twitters “ .
Letter A sounds like K, Letter S sounds like F, Letter M
sounds like N, Letter D sounds like B…
Above all, remember that you are here for something, and
regardless of wherever you come from, you have the greatest responsibility in
representing the organization you work for.
Good Luck !!
*** Copyright for twitters, implicitly assumed! J , already part of my
work.
